When you see a romantic movie, it always seems to end on “happily ever after”. The loving couple has overcome all obstacles and gotten together. It should be perfect from here on out.
We all long for that sort of fairy tale ending. However, the real world doesn’t always work like that. Stress happens, people change, and it takes a depressingly short amount of time to fall out of love. (As soon as 3 to 12 months!)
Did you think you’d be together forever? Are you missing those old sparks? If so, it’s time to learn how to rekindle a relationship. Our helpful tips will show you what you can try.
Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
In real estate, the most important thing is location, location, location. In relationships? It’s communication, communication, communication. Sure, you may talk to your significant other every day. But how often do you speak with them to listen and not to make a point?
Are there things in your relationship that you’ve been silent about for a long time in hopes that they would improve? Is there something you both avoid discussing for fear of emotions running high? If you want to know how to respark a dying relationship, communication is a great first step.
You may be surprised by what you learn when you take a moment to listen to one another.
Have Another Date Night
Figuring out how to respark romance in a relationship can prove difficult. However, before you throw your hands up in defeat, ask yourself one question. When was the last time you and your partner went on a date together? Not an outing with friends, family, or kids. A proper, one-on-one date.
You’d be surprised what having some time to spend with one another without any other pressures around could do for your relationship. If nothing else, it can give you both an excuse to dress up nice, treat each other to some small gifts, and relive those early days.
Try New Things Together
Rekindling intimacy in a marriage requires a re-examination of many areas of your life. Oftentimes, the reason the spark feels like it’s gone stale is that everything has become routine. You eat the same meals, go to the same places, wear the same sort of clothes day in and day out.
Day after day. Night after night. Week after week. It’s no wonder that things begin to feel monotonous and boring. There’s none of that novelty or excitement that happens when a romance is new.
One way to recapture that sense of newness is by trying new things together. It could be something as simple as going to a restaurant you’ve never visited before for a date. Or, you could enroll in a class together and learn a new skill side-by-side. Whatever sparks joy for you and your partner!
Spice Up Your Sex Life
In many cases, when someone wonders how to rekindle intimacy in a marriage, they mean sexual intimacy specifically. If that sense of magnetism and heat no longer seems to be there, it can feel like your relationship is spinning its wheels.
Thankfully, there are some ways that you can spice up your sex life and rekindle that spark. If there’s a new position or some kinky play you’ve been meaning to try, that’s a great starting point. If performance anxiety is the issue, there are solutions for that too. From pills to lubricants to these industry secrets, you can find ways to keep up your stamina.
You should, of course, take time to discuss any new things you want to try with your partner before you try them. Spontaneity is all well and good until someone else isn’t having fun.
When was the last time you thanked your significant other for doing something mundane? Or told them that you loved them unprompted? Or expressed how thankful you are that they are in your life?
It’s easy for things like chores, cooking, or other household minutiae to fall under what we expect our partner to do. When you see them handling a task like that, or doing a chore they don’t usually do, thank them.
This can be a simple verbal thank you. Or, if you prefer to show affection with gifts, by giving them a small token of your gratitude and a note.
If what’s causing trouble in your relationship is not dead sparks but something more serious, counseling may be your only recourse. However, couples counseling isn’t just for failed and acrimonious relationships. It can also be used to head off serious, relationship-shattering problems at the pass.
Counseling can help you and your partner see where communication and love language mix-ups are happening. It can also give you a greater toolset to handle arguments with your partner.
Remember that Love Is an Action, Not a State of Being
There’s one last thing to keep in mind when you’re wondering how to respark a dying relationship. Love is an action, a verb, not a state of being. There will be many times where you don’t feel that same love as before, and all you feel is annoyance. In those times, it’s important to choose the love you once felt for your partner over your current emotional state.
Acknowledge and feel your feelings, but don’t let them override how you choose to feel about your partner.
Looking for More Tips to Rekindle a Relationship?
Finding ways to rekindle a relationship that work for you and your partner can be a difficult process. While the tips we provided above can give you a roadmap, they don’t cover every possible path. If you need more tips to respark your flame, check out our blog for more helpful and informative content like this.